How I run a business with Anxiety - Breaking the stigma

anxiety Crystals mental health small business owner Spiritual wellness white sage

*Trigger warning* Anxiety and mental illness are discussed in this blog. I respect that this might be a sensitive topic for those feeling vulnerable. Please read at your own discretion.

I’ve never openly shared this with the big beautiful world, however, with age and a lot of deep work I’m ready to share my story in the hopes that others may find comfort and reassurance in their struggles and know that it is ok to not be doing it all.

Hi, I’m Fal, I’m a 33 year old mum of 3, I own and operate a multi figure company and I’m clinically diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder).

These are both illnesses I’ve lived with since I was a teenager, however, my OCD was something I was only formally diagnosed with in 2018. I started my business in 2014 so I was already living with my challenges and navigating my way through life with GAD. This is no new feat for me and it’s something I’ve more recently been able to manage with the help of professionals, naturopathy, spiritual healers and other coping tools which I will share later.

Owning a business is a pretty stressful gig. I think most business owners will tell you that. You have to show up every single day. Rain, hail or shine and being e-commerce means your on the go, basically, 24/7. It can take a lot out of you, both physically and mentally. Having a business in the twenty first century also comes with some pretty big challenges. One of my biggest being the need to be seen in order to succeed, and that of course comes at the cost of the internet and marketing through social media.

As a business creative and owner I’m in charge of every decision when it comes to growing my company. There are often large sums of money involved, months of planning and designing, years of hard work, staff to manage, all of the day to day operations and then there’s all of the uncertainties that come with it. There’s been times where my idea of success has felt like a distant hope. It’s stressful at the best of times and utterly terrifying at the worst. Throw into that a global pandemic and this girl was all sorts of stressed.

In early 2020 our world like many others was tipped upside down with a global pandemic. It was in this time of uncertainty I knew I had to reach out for support. This realisation didn’t come easy. I’m a true Capricorn. I love nothing more then to be busy and to be working HARD. I was stubborn, but I was sick. I was losing hair by the handfuls, I was barely sleeping at night, I was vomiting continuously and I was so far in my “you’re too busy to listen to that nonsense, you don’t need a break you’re fine” that it took a severe panic attack and an ambulance ride to hospital for me to really take myself mental health seriously. My blood pressure was in the 200s and my body was no longer able to cope. I had to stop. This idea that I needed to be busy to be successful was no longer an option for me. So I did. I stopped. I listened to my body for the first time in 20+ years and I got help.

Over the coming months I seen 2 Drs, 1 that had an interest in mental health and another the worked internally on lots of other important things like blood count, vitamin levels, heart studies, blood pressure studies, insulin resistance and they also did a series of hormone studies. I then was referred to a psychiatrist (the first of 4 that I really aligned with), an endocrinologist (surprise, ya girl has Diabetes), I connected with a healer specialising in havening techniques and took time to learn the benefits of daily meditation, aromatherapy and crystal healing. There was many appointments I didn’t want to go to and there was many times I wanted to give up. Taking insulin was new and it felt really odd to me. There was just so much work to be done and the onion layers all needed equal effort.

I pushed through. I wanted to be my best self, and I deserved to be. I would say to myself in those moment of fear and doubt “this or something better”. I sure as heck didn’t want “this” anymore, so I chose to push on. Sign me up for the “something better” because surely this could get better?

This work didn’t come easy. As previously mentioned I knew I needed an outlet and I wanted to heal both my brain and body but first and foremost I had to make the space for it. I had to realise that overworking will only ever mask the problem and not only that, it was detrimental to my health. For a few months I told myself excuses such as “your business is thriving, you should be grateful”. “Your husband still has a job you shouldn’t be so stressed”. And I was grateful (so grateful) but that didn’t mean I wasn’t deserving of getting the help I needed.

On this journey I learnt so much and a lot of who I am as a person has now changed. I’m overall more confident, I’m calmer, the brain fog has lifted and I have so much love for life again. I’ve lost over 30kgs, I purchased my dream car, I have clear glowing skin, my hair is growing back, I have a much healthier connection with my children and I’m quite frankly a totally different person.

The most valuable lesson is that I am NOT my business. My business comes from passion, creativity, and so much hard work. But it’s just one expression of me – it’s not who I am. It was important for me to come to this realisation. To seperate the two. Whilst I work extremely hard and am very passion driven, my brand isn’t “Fallon” it’s L+L the LABEL. It’s merely a reflection of me. Will I be a business owner is 10 years time? Maybe, I hope so, but the truth is, I don’t know yet. Will I be me in 10 years time? Yep!!! Is it important for me to look after my physical and emotional well-being? ABSOLUTELY! Because I’ve come to realise that I can’t show up and be my best self to my staff, my clients, my customers, my children, my friends if I don’t make the time to nurture and support myself and my mental health first.

So, for my fellow mental health battlers out there running a business or those of you who are raising children, or those doing both. I see you. I know it’s hard. I know you need support and I know you’re so in the thick of daily operations that you’ve not made it a priority, but hear me out - this can get better. That extreme overwhelm and burden you bury yourself in doesn’t have to control you and you CAN live a life much lighter.

Mental health is not something that just goes away, it's something that requires work, every single day. Honour yourself - YOU DESERVE TO BE YOUR BEST SELF!

Resources of benefit I’d like to share:

Books -

•Untamed

•Think Like A Monk

•Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying

•First We Make The Beast Beautiful

•Atomic habits 

 Podcasts -

•The Mindset Mentor

•Abraham Hicks

•On Purpose

Healers -

•Elle Louise McBride - https://ellelouisemcbride.com

•Healing Hands Natural Health 

Products -

• Balance Doterra - https://www.doterra.com/US/en/p/balance-grounding-blend-oil

• Beam Dream Capsules - https://shopbeam.com/products/sleep-capsules

• Mielle Rosemary and Mint scalp oil - https://www.beautybay.com/p/mielle-organics/rosemary-mint-scalp-and-hair-strengthening-oil/?ctyid=au

• Protection kit - https://www.lionandlambthelabel.com/collections/spiritual-kits/products/i-am-crystal-gift-set?variant=39757883146310

• Weighted blanket - https://www.kmart.com.au/product/adult-weighted-blanket-grey-42984207/?sku=42984207&region_id=400001&gclid=Cj0KCQjwguGYBhDRARIsAHgRm4_BMu8nXZVZmzmSY7JwwRiWqLGIgbUPXuYHozUIa3pBfE63jhsE-pwaAv9NEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

• Salt lamp - https://www.lionandlambthelabel.com/collections/crystals/products/salt-lamp-small

       


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